Confession

Ultimate failure strikes. The inevitable fact that I am truly left behind. With almost everyone I know follow their own path and control their future, I guess the only loser left is me. Being socially awkward all the time, I am now being compel to fraternize with other strangers who view me as an extraterrestrial life form. Building a whole new relationship is a tough task starting from bowing to them and following their orders. Too tired to speak. Too weary to know. Too exhausted to understand. Solitude is my life thread.

When appealing become the only option, it means no choice altogether. Since all the foreign vacancy are taken beforehand, there will only be local offer for me. I might as well take form 6 and repeat the cycle and got rejected again. A-level or any colleges are beyond my parents capabilities or job insurance. The journey of becoming an eternal loser leading a boring life begins now.

Having sleepless night everyday, it means taking 8 painkiller a day to have a short nap. Nightmare repeats again and again every time I close my eyes. Feeling chill down my back every moment even if it was 36 degree. Perhaps, like my friend say, I am a non-existent being . My presence is trivial after all.

努力过，奋斗过，坚持过。
但
失败了，失去了，失落了，
只好
放弃了，放手了，堕落了。

Phasing,
Silent Gazer.